420 ftw
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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