I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
