the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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