I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i drank out of a bidet.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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