FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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