I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Randomize
