there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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