it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
