mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Randomize
