to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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