I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
