Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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