He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
