Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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