Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize