We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
smell my finger.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
