And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I touched a dick in church today
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
