dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
