after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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