And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize