i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
