i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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