How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Randomize
