Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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