Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
