dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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