That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
