i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize