I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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