im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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