Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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