Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
