Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I have feelings that need drinking.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize