apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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