just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
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