I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
