Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
