I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
