just come out here and I will go home with you...
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
