It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
