im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
