I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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