I smell stomach acid.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I pour the whiskey from now on
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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