In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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