I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
he's gonorrhea incarnate
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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