I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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