Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
