OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
