But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
