Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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