Me too!
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Randomize
