he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i drank out of a bidet.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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