If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
