You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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