I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
