He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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