So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
