I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Is it because I queefed?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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