yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
