There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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