Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
