Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
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