Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
NoShamevember. You game?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
