fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
