Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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