I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
