just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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