Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
