dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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