if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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